NEGATIVE IONS -WHAT A BUNCH OF HOOEY

I received a few emails over the past week wondering where this week’s article was. There wasn’t one I spent the greater part of last week on holiday in Los Vegas, of all places. As soon as a got off the plane, I felt a sharp pain in one of my molars. Los Vegas, with all the piping hot and overly salted food, the five mile walks through the malls to get to a location that was merely on the other side of a mall, and cold and crisp artesian  water is no place to have a significant toothache.

The worst part was that everyone smokes – especially while gambling. The casinos and hotels smell like ash trays.

There were a couple of things about my trip that were magnificent. One was the Cirque Du Soleil – a team of thirty or so superb acrobats, and a fight I had with a street vendor.

All my family wanted to do in Los Vegas was shop. We found a busy place that was a few acres of landde3voted to outlet sales.

“Perfect,” I thought. “I could catch a few rays while everyone else spent their hard-traded American dollars.”

I did so for a few moments when I noted a couple of street vendors selling wrist elastic bands for $20 apiece.

“Hey Mister,” one said. “ Can I show you something?”

“Sure.” I said.

He had me stand with my arm straight out to the side. I did so.

“Is that as far as it will go?” he asked?

“Yes,” I said.

Then he fitted an elastic band on my wrist.

“Now see how far back your arm can go.”  I added another 29 cm past my first marker.

He then went into a sales diatribe on how the negative ions somehow inserted into the rubber of the elastic, and the negative ions helped me enhance my range of motion.

“Would you like me to tell you what really happened?” I asked.

“No,” The fellow said. “It is negative ions.”

“It’s proprioception.” I said.

There are five well known senses that people have: sight, hearing, taste, touch, and smell. There is also another one proprioception. It is a sense that tells your brain where every part of your body is in space. I went on to explain that the body has sensors called glogi bodies in the muscles that tell the brain, based on sensing muscle contraction and compensating for the movement by contracting and relaxing other muscles.

“Do you play football?” I asked – knowing full well that all Americans play football.

“Of Course,” He said.

“Are you the kicker?”

“Yes,”

“When you kick off to begin the game,  the muscles in the front of your thigh and hip flexors power the ball down the field. The glogi bodies, in an effort to stop your leg from entering orbit, cause the hamstrings to contract.

Also many physiotherapists use proprioception as part of therapy to enhance range of motion.

When I got back, I had a root canal.

Mike Broderick , a one- time archaeologist, is a Vocational Rehabilitation Counsellor with the Fraser Health Authority in Port Coquitlam where he helps people with mental health disabilities find and keep full or part time employment .

He WAS the Employment Specialist for the Neil Squire Society in Burnaby where he found employment for people with physical disabilities, A Supported Employment Coordinator at THEO BC (now the Open Door Group), and a case manager at Community Fisheries Development Centre where he helped people move from the fishing industry to something else because there, “Aint no fish.” This means he is VERY familiar with how a modern day resume should look.

He is an active ambassador with the Vancouver Board of Trade and a member of the Labour Task Force of the Burnaby Board of Trade He does some work as a field Archaeologist, is a fitness instructor and frequent contributor of fitness humour articles to Alive Magazine. He is always saying, “If you can’t be fit, you can at least be funny.”

He lives in Port Coquitlam with his spouse Cecelia. You can reach him at home at michael_broderick@telus.net or at 604-464-4105. If you’re looking for a career change, he is the Spin Doctor and can give you a resume makeover at competitive rates.