MISSED MILESTONES – THOUGHTS ON LATER RETIREMENT


I belong to an age cohort that follows the leading edge of the baby boomer generation by three years. I am a 49er who came of age in the middle of the 60s. Along the way, I learned there were milestones that reaped rewards or the other when they were hit.

Even though I am 62 now and my short term memory probably leaves something to be desired, I have an excellent long-term memory. I can remember those milestones as if they happened yesterday. If I weren’t a trained archaeologist, I would have made a fortune as a historian.

Now, because of a recent pronouncement by our Prime Minister, I can gripe about them.

The first milestone concerned driving. I got my driver’s licence two months after by 16th birthday. I didn’t get a week after because I needed to learn how to do it, and I had to tag on an extra 2 weeks because I ran over the examiner’s hand during the road test.

He told me to, “Double park alongside car and I’ll process the paperwork.”

I thought he was kidding, as it is generally illegal to double park. I didn’t notice that he and the door opened and was stepping out as I threw the machine into reverse. The door knocked him down and he was sucked under the vehicle where I ran over his hand.

“I don’t know what you hate worse,” he said, cradling his hand. “… me or the car. Whichever, you’ll need to come back in two weeks to do this all over again.”

But that wasn’t the milestone. When I got my licence, I had to pay exaggerated insurance rates because people my age liked to speed through A&W drive-through burger joints while having unprotected sex and having accidents.

We had to wait until our 21st birthdays before we got a reduction because we learned to have unprotected sex without causing accidents.
At least that’s what the actuaries said.

When I turned 21, they decided to move the age to 25. When I turned 25, they changed it to 30. When I turned 30, they forgot the whole thing.

All that driving and unprotected sex can work up a powerful thirst. Which brings on the next milestone. I was expected to wait until I was 21 to enter a drinking establishment legally. The day I turned 21, they lowered the minimum age to 19.

Harrumph.

Our Prime Minister was showing off his knowledge of the economy in Switzerland the other day. He said that he would need to raise the age of retirement to 67 from 65 if he wanted to ward off economic Armageddon.

“Ha!” I thought while investigating a way to withdraw some money out of an RRSP without paying taxes. “The laugh’s on you. I can’t retire at 65 because I haven’t saved enough money. That extra two years will work wonders with my desire to live into mu 70s, 80s and 90s.

I don’t mind the extra work before retirement. All I need now is a job to retire from.

Mike Broderick WAS the Employment Specialist for the Neil Squire Society in Burnaby where he FOUND employment for people with physical disabilities. HE IS NOW SEEKING OTHER OPPORTUNITIES.
He remains an active ambassador with the Vancouver Board of Trade and a member of the Labour Task Force of the Burnaby Board of Trade He does some work as a field Archaeologist and is a fitness instructor and frequent contributor of fitness humour articles to alive magazine in Port Coquitlam. You can reach him at home at michael_broderick@telus.net or at 604-464-4195.
If you’re looking for a career change, he is the Spin Doctor and can give you a résumé makeover at competitive rates.
Apparently 22% of companies in the Greater Vancouver area will be hiring within the next month. Get your resumes ready.
Before you knock on an employer’s door
Get some advice from the Spin Doctor

Advertisements

2 Responses to “MISSED MILESTONES – THOUGHTS ON LATER RETIREMENT”

  1. Sharon Says:

    Ah, the vissicitudes of aging. Don’t they just . . . !
    Funny, good job, as always. Keep up the good work. I hope you don’t retire from writing until you are in the triple digits.

  2. Nadine Lamark Says:

    Great post however I was wondering if you could write a litte more on this subject? I’d be very grateful if you could elaborate a little bit further. Cheers!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: