TAKING MORE PRIDE IN MY PATE


Why is it that every April someone  announces a cure for baldness. Last year someone used a drug called Procepia that was originally devised to treat enlarged prostate glands. That is a medical condition. Researchers discovered that it incidentally grew hair follicles on  bald guy’s pates. Baldness is not a medical problem. It is a cash cow that will allow marketers to market it to bald guys and jack the price up to $20/dose which won’t be covered by any medical plan – because baldness is not a medical problem.

 

This was the chain of events with Viagra. It was originally devised to solve a heart problem – a definite medical problem. Researchers found that it’s use made their patients have an erection that rivalled the space shuttle on the launching pad. It became a cure for “erectile dysfunction.”  This s a condition that is also not covered by a plan, and marketers sell it for about $15/dose.

 

If the marketers had their way, all bald guys would be spending their way to the poorhouse with peach fuzz on top of their pates so they could be more attractive. Because the drug would cause their prostate glands to shrivel up to the size of pinto beans, they might need Viagra to “get it up.” That means they may need to carry their erections around in front of themselves in a wheelbarrow.

 

Last month it happened again. Researchers from the Tokyo University of Science genetically engineered stem cells that developed into  functioning hair follicles in bald mice. Here is the result as reported in the April 18, 2012 editopm of Science Daily at http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2012/04/120418095011.htm                        

Cute eh?

For those who don’t know me, I stand about 5 feet 10 inches (or 177.8 centipedes for those who have metrically mellowed over the years.) While I stand 5 feet 10 inches, my haircut only stands 5 feet 9 inches. I’m as bald as a baby’s elbow on top.

 I see no shame in this, and I find that the more hirsute males are the ones who bring it up all the time and feel sorry for me. There is no reason to feel sorry for me. I’m doing fine, thank you. In fact, my hunch is that they are the ones sporting a case of Pate Envy

 

So far, I’ve survived quite well with my head of pate. I think I’ll keep it. If I begin to feel guilty about blinding my participants, I’ll wear a hat. I’ll wear one of those baseball caps that have the bill facing the back.

 

Where do you get those.

 

 Mike Broderick WAS the Employment Specialist for the Neil Squire Society in Burnaby where he FOUND employment for people with physical disabilities.
HE IS NOW SEEKING OTHER OPPORTUNITIES.
He remains an active ambassador with the Vancouver Board of Trade and a member of the Labour Task Force of the Burnaby Board of Trade He does some work as a field Archaeologist and is a fitness instructor and frequent contributor of fitness humour articles to alive magazine in Port Coquitlam. You can reach him at home at
michael_broderick@telus.net  or at 604-464-4105
If you’re looking for a career change, he is the Spin Doctor and can give you a
résumé makeover at competitive rates .
Apparently 22% of companies in the Greater Vancouver area will be hiring within the next few months.  Get your résumés ready.

 

 

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7 Responses to “TAKING MORE PRIDE IN MY PATE”

  1. energywriter Says:

    Wonderful, Mike. You made some valid points in a funny way. Drugs are scary but people pay out millions to be beautiful, bariatic surgery, botox and so on.

  2. Carla King AKA Loves Moose Says:

    Hi Mike! You’re a great writer. About the hat, I’ll have to ask the twenty-year old guys I work with where they get those hats with the bills facing the other direction. :o)

  3. website Says:

    Im having a teeny issue. I cant get my reader to pick-up your feed, Im using bing reader by the way.

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