SPANDEX COWBOY HOLLER


Well I wake up in the morning and I jump in the shower,

I’ve got a step class to teach in just half an hour.

I pull on my Spandex shorts still wringing wet with sweat,

I hope nobody notes the smell, I’ll launder them yet.

I sing Oh boy, rewind those tapes.

Cue them up right.

Nothing seems to happen in this life of mine.

I’m dolling out the jumping jacks in 4/4 time.

 

My thighs hurt, my shoulder hurts and I’ve got a runny nose,

I feel tired, my shoes are tight and they pinch my mashed-up toes.

I can’t wait to start the warm up for endorphines to kick in,

And I hope nobody in the class sees the sorry state I’m in.

I sing, Oh boy, rewind those tapes.

Cue them up right.

Nothing seems to happen in this life of mine.

I’m dolling out the jumping jacks in 4/4 time.

 

I enter the gym and the studio is bare,

Will I have a holiday or will I feel despair?

I click in the tape and I’m ready to begin,

I turn around in time to find that forty just walked in.

I say, Oh boy, rewind those tapes.

Cue them up right.

Nothing seems to happen in this life of mine.

I’m dolling out the jumping jacks in 4/4 time.

 

There’s big ones and small ones and male ones too,

Well, there’s young ones and old ones, and some are feeling blue.

There’s novices and experts, I say, “We’ll all have fun,

And before I know it the warm up’s done and the cardio has begun.

Oh boy, rewind those tapes.

Cue them up right.

Nothing seems to happen in this life of mine.

I’m dolling out the jumping jacks in 4/4 time.

 

I teach my class in patterned blocks and nobody seems lost,

I introduce a new one and I recognize the cost.

That someone won’t get it right the first time they see,

But the only screw up in the class just happens to be me.

Oh boy, rewind those tapes.

Cue them up right.

Nothing seems to happen in this life of mine.

I’m dolling out the jumping jacks in 4/4 time.

 

By the end of the class, all my aches have gone away,

And everyone was happy, and they all began their day.

I head for the changing room and jump into the shower,

And the owner comes to tell me, “Do it again in half an hour.”

Oh boy, rewind those tapes.

Cue them up right.

Nothing seems to happen in this life of mine.

I’m dolling out the jumping jacks in 4/4 time.

I’m dolling out the jumping jacks in 4/4 time.

Mike Broderick , a one- time archaeologist, is the Vocational Rehabilitation Counsellor with the Fraser Health Authority in Port Coquitlam where he helps people with mental health disabilities find and keep full or part time employment .

 He WAS the Employment Specialist for the Neil Squire Society in Burnaby where he found  employment for people with physical disabilities, A Supported Employment Coordinator at THEO BC (now the Open Door Group), and a case manager at Community Fisheries Development Centre where he helped people move from the fishing industry to something else because there “aint no fish.” This means he is VERY familiar with how a modern day resume should look like.

He is an active ambassador with the Vancouver Board of Trade and a member of the Labour Task Force of the Burnaby Board of Trade He does some work as a field Archaeologist,  is a fitness instructor and frequent contributor of fitness humour articles to Alive Magazine. He is always saying, “If  you can’t be fit, you can at least be funny.”

He lives in Port Coquitlam with his spouse Cecelia. You can reach him at home at michael_broderick@telus.net  or at 604-464-4105 If you’re looking for a career change, he is the Spin Doctor and can give you a resume makeover at competitive rates.

Labour day is fast approaching. Get your resume ready. More people make changes around Labour Day than New Year’s Day

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3 Responses to “SPANDEX COWBOY HOLLER”

  1. energywriter Says:

    Great job, Mike. I’m sure you won’t replace Walt Whitman in 6th grade English class. But your poem is more fun.

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