DON’T PISS OFF THE WRITER


I never wanted to have my clients pay a deposit for work that I do for them, but I suppose I’ll have to start – or at least raise my rates. Three clients have tried their damndest to get away without paying.

Since I started this little résumé business, I wanted my clients to pay me only when they were 100% satisfied with my work. Sure, I make some wild guesses at the spelling of names, and I make the occasional blunder with addresses, but mistakes can be corrected and I usually get paid.

Interestingly, the biggest offenders are sales executives. They grab their resume and don their five hundred dollar ‘let’s-talk-about-it suits and veer off into the sunset using my work to become executive’s and CEOs of unsuspecting presidents and vice presidents. They really should pay the writer before running off to milk seniors out of their life savings in some ponzi scheme.

Honestly! Don’t they understand karma?

Don’t they know the damage they can do to their career by pissing off a writer?

The latest miscreant that I turned loose on he unsuspecting public treated me with a 7-page tome of run-on sentences written on lined yellow paper with a sharpie. The words did not match the jobs he claimed he had done, and he spent more time describing how he loved to cook Chinese and Italians. I did some serious word weeding and job focusing, and after a couple of hours of wordsmithing, I had a resume that would get him an interview with any Chamber of Commerce for a CEO position.

This fellow, whom I will call Bosco as he has since promised to pay me – complete with a tip for my trouble.

He put the cheque in the mail because of an email I sent that outlined the perils of pissing off a writer.

This is Mike Broderick, the Spin Doctor wondering when you’re going to pay for your résumé. I worked hard to get it to you on your deadline, and you haven’t returned any of my calls. Nor have you responded to my emails and invoices. I can only assume that you dined and dashed.
It wasn’t an easy job, either. You didn’t give me much to work with. I was surprised that you couldn’t delegate one of your administrative staff to pop a cheque in the mail. I made me wonder if that speaks to your leadership style that I took pains to describe on your document.

I know that you time is important, and that time is money for you, but you’re pissing off the writer. Suppose I write an article comparing the piece of shit you gave me with the finished product I get a lot of readers, and readers are prone to chat .

Once my piece is published, it will immediately be posted and retweeted throughout the Internet. Inoticed you have a Twitter account. You will understand the significance of retweets. Suddenly thousands will ave a good laugh at your expense. . I don’t imagine it will do your reputation any good, especially seeing that you are into sales. It will expose you as the piker you are. I call it Karma.

It’s pour choice. Let me know soon.

Mike Broderick , a one- time archaeologist, is a Vocational Rehabilitation Counsellor with the Fraser Health Authority in Port Coquitlam where he helps people with mental health disabilities find and keep full or part time employment .
He WAS the Employment Specialist for the Neil Squire Society in Burnaby where he found employment for people with physical disabilities, A Supported Employment Coordinator at THEO BC (now the Open Door Group), and a case manager at Community Fisheries Development Centre where he helped people move from the fishing industry to something else because there “aint no fish.” This means he is VERY familiar with how a modern day resume should look like.
He is an active ambassador with the Vancouver Board of Trade and a member of the Labour Task Force of the Burnaby Board of Trade He does some work as a field Archaeologist, is a fitness instructor and frequent contributor of fitness humour articles to Alive Magazine. He is always saying, “If you can’t be fit, you can at least be funny.”
He lives in Port Coquitlam with his spouse Cecelia. You can reach him at home at michael_broderick@telus.net or at 604-464-4105 If you’re looking for a career change, he is the Spin Doctor and can give you a resume makeover at competitive rates.

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10 Responses to “DON’T PISS OFF THE WRITER”

  1. energywriter Says:

    Go for it Mike. I hope he pays and tips. Or perhaps he’ll spread your email around so all his buddies won’t call you for a new resume. I wish I was brave enough to do something like that.

  2. mikebroderick Says:

    I find that I become progressively less cranky when I get a cheque. The bigger the cheque, the less my ire. I’m banking on the idea that he doesn’t have any friends.

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