I GUESS I WON’T BE GOING TO THE SENATE


On Monday I received two letters from the Government of Canada.

“Holy Cats,” I exclaimed to anyone who was listening. “All my prayers have been answered. Sweetie, let’s start packing. We’re moving to Ottawa. We’ll have this place rebuilt and claim the expenses. I need to start practicing looking like I’m giving ideas Sober Second Thought. I’ve been appointed to the senate!”

I always thought that being a Senator in Canada’s Upper House would be a fitting reward for all the work I had done in my lifetime. I certainly deserve it. My reward would be a six-figure package that would last until my mandatory retirement at age 75. Wow,

What should we pack,” I asked Cecelia. “Should we put the house on the market? Should we advertise for renters? Should we …”

“Maybe you should just open the letters.” Cecelia said. “Nobody is going to give you a Senate seat for being an archaeologist or even an employment guy. They might do it for all those jumping jacks you did over the years, but then again, they might get you for all those wild guesses you do on your income tax. I have a feeling that the only federal Upper House you will fit into will have bars on all the windows”

“Yes.” I said. “We’ll be living in a gated community.”

“Just open the letters,” she said.

After I stopped jumping, I was able to open the letters and give them some Sober Second Thought. – just like a real senator. What I found inside would make a judge sober.

“Dear Michael Broderick,”  both letters began.

“Our records show that you are not receiving a Canada Pension Plan (CPP) Retirement or Old Age pension and that you may be eligible for these monthly payments What are you,? A Communist? Don’t you know that it’s a fundamental expectation that every Canadian squeeze as much as they can out of government? If you have already begun to collect your just deserts, please ignore these letters. If not, get with the program.

I find it difficult to imagine the intent of a letter like this with a modicum of sober second thought. Maybe I’ll ignore the letter and keep on working – business as usual. Maybe I’ll keep paying into CPP so I can get a little more that the puny amount they offered in subsequent paragraphs.

On the other hand, my job might disappear. It might be a good idea to have a few extra bucks kicking around.

But then again, I might be appointed to the Senate. I’ll send them by senator résumé. I can take vacations and sleep through meetings with the best of them.

Mike Broderick , a one- time archaeologist, is a Vocational Rehabilitation Counsellor with the Fraser Health Authority in Port Coquitlam where he helps people with mental health disabilities find and keep full or part time employment .

He WAS the Employment Specialist for the Neil Squire Society in Burnaby where he found employment for people with physical disabilities, A Supported Employment Coordinator at THEO BC (now the Open Door Group), and a case manager at Community Fisheries Development Centre where he helped people move from the fishing industry to something else because there, “Aint no fish.” This means he is VERY familiar with how a modern day resume should look.

He is an active ambassador with the Vancouver Board of Trade and a member of the Labour Task Force of the Burnaby Board of Trade He does some work as a field Archaeologist, is a fitness instructor and frequent contributor of fitness humour articles to Alive Magazine. He is always saying, “If you can’t be fit, you can at least be funny.”

He lives in Port Coquitlam with his spouse Cecelia. You can reach him at home at michael_broderick@telus.net or at 604-464-4105. If you’re looking for a career change, he is the Spin Doctor and can give you a resume makeover at competitive rates.

 

 

 

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One Response to “I GUESS I WON’T BE GOING TO THE SENATE”

  1. Sharon Says:

    So funny – and fitting, considering we may not have a Senate or House or anything else tomorrow. Never fear. They always give themselves a back door.

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