The other day I attended a brief presentation by the Western Canadian Manager for a company called Professional Warehouse Demonstrators. This is the company that dollops out copious quantities of Velveeta on crackers at all the Costco stores. I couldn’t wait for the lecture to finish so I could send two of my clients off to be professional dollopers.

Actually, I couldn’t wait for the lecture to end so I could chow down on a cracker loaded with antipasto. For me, Costco shopping is the perfect cheap date. I wear my bib.

I learned that I should send my candidates to her, and she, in turn, would send it to the appropriate manager. I did so, then I sent my two clients with resumes in hand to the stores in question to personally hand it to the local manager. They did so. One of them came back and reported that the manager had the flu, so she offered to make her a “Killer Chicken Wing Soup.”

“Would that be OK?” she asked. “Or would that be sucking up?”

“Yes to both” I said.

As I explained to my client, getting a job can often be difficult.

“Tell me about it,” she said. “Do you think that I I get the job that she’ll be after me to do all sorts of things?”

“Probably not.” I said. “You initiated the sucking up. If she found out you were a cook then asked asked you to make a killer chicken wing soup for her, she probably would be asking for stuff the rest of your life. Since you initiated it, you have the control.”

“How could she have initiated it,” she asked.

“I’ll give you an example,” I said. I once got a call from someone who just interviewed me. She said that I didn’t get the position, but she wondered if I would like to go on a date with her. I suppose that would open her up to a sexual harassment suit, but I don’t play that game. I’m too much of a hunk.

“What did you do,” my client asked.

I asked the interviewer whether a date with her might change her mind about her decision not to hire me.

“Probably,” she said. “But there are no guarantees.”

“I could see the writing on the wall,” I told my client. “If I went on the date and got the job, I’d probably have to go on several more dates to keep my job. That means that I would be forever sucking up and not enjoying my date. If I went on the date and didn’t get the job, that would be a waste of a perfectly good sucking. That would be sucking air.

“In your case, you have all the control.” I said. “Making the soup is playing the game. All is fair in love, war, and getting a job
My client left my office and spotted one of my co-workers. “Mike’s a real suck!” she told him.

Next week, how to get ahead without sucking up.

Mike Broderick , a one- time archaeologist, is a Vocational Rehabilitation Counsellor with the Fraser Health Authority in Port Coquitlam where he helps people with mental health disabilities find and keep full or part time employment .

He WAS the Employment Specialist for the Neil Squire Society in Burnaby where he found employment for people with physical disabilities, A Supported Employment Coordinator at THEO BC (now the Open Door Group), and a case manager at Community Fisheries Development Centre where he helped people move from the fishing industry to something else because there, “Aint no fish.” This means he is VERY familiar with how a modern day resume should look.

He is a retired ambassador with the Vancouver Board of Trade and a member of the Labour Task Force of the Burnaby Board of Trade He does some work as a field Archaeologist, is a fitness instructor and frequent contributor of fitness humour articles to Alive Magazine. He is always saying, “If you can’t be fit, you can at least be funny.”

He lives in Port Coquitlam with his spouse Cecelia. You can reach him at home at or at 604-464-4105. If you’re looking for a career change, he is the Spin Doctor and can give you a resume makeover at competitive rates.


One Response to “SUCKING UP: GETTING A JOB IN 2014”

  1. energywriter Says:

    Hilarious, but good advice.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: