HAVE ANOTHER BOWLFUL

I had the commercial 1960’s jingle for Kellogg’s Rice Krispees running echoing through my skull this weekend. I also remembered all the words to the jingle, which is quite the accomplishment since the jingle is more than thirty years old. You know what they say about us old guys and our long term memories.

Not only did I remember that jingle, but also, “Kel-logs Sugar Corn Pops, Sugar Pops are tops,” and “Kellogg’s PEP, brings you the Adventures of Superman.”

This deluge of grainy nostalgia started after I taught a class at the West End Community Centre in Vancouver. After class, I went to the changing room to change out of my Spandex and into my jeans, and there, hanging on the wall at eye level, was a four foot by four foot billboard advertizing Kellogg’s Special ‘K.’ Special ‘K’ is probably the only breakfast cereal that didn’t have a singing commercial.

I had to ask the boss. “Jayne,” I asked. “Are they passing out free bowls of cereal in the weight in the weight room?”

“If you’re referring to the billboard,” she said, “I don’t want to talk about it. All I can say is that the Kellogg’s Corporation is giving the weight room an as-yet-undisclosed sum of money in return for displaying the sign. Now leave me alone.”

So, Kellogg’s Corporation joined Coca-Cola and Nike as a major sponsor of programs in the Vancouver Parks and Recreation. At Hastings Community Centre I have to clean up pop cans before my class. Soon, I’ll be stumbling over the Rice Krispee Square wrappings, and marathon runners will be carbo-loading on corn flakes.

I’m not surprised. The city’s been bellyaching about their lack of funds for years – although they didn’t like my suggestion about selling advertising space on the doors of police cars. “Where will we put the insignia?” said the mayor to me at a public meeting.

“Who needs an insignia when you can have MacDonald’s?” I answered.

I thought the Kellogg’s Corporation would have been the first to jump onto the sponsorship bandwagon given its previous high profile during the turn of the last century. Besides sponsoring wholesome radio and television shows like Superman and Wild Bill Hickock. Dr. Kellogg, the corporation’s progenitor and patriarch, wrote a book about being a male adolescent at the turn of the century. His book was intended to guide youths through to their twenties. Maintain healthy and wholesome lifestyles by going to church, avoiding meat, and eating whole grain cereals such as his new concoction of toasted corn mixed with fresh fruit and whole milk.

He sold a lot of cereal and saved many a young lad from the prenuptial perils of masturbation caused by eating too much meat. He saved boarding schools the expense of putting saltpeter in the tea. “A bowlful of PEP ought to take care of that,” said the headmaster putting down the cane.

Since Kellogg’s Corporation is passing out undisclosed amounts of money, I think they should pass some over to me. I’m not proud. I’m destined to be a shameless minion of the status quo. For a few extra bucks, I’ll sing the Rice Krispee song to all my participants at the end of the class. As the participants gaze in awe of my magnificent body, they’ll be sure to draw the connection between Kellogg’s cereals and fitness. I’ll even pass out the words so we can sing it as a round. If you don’t believe me, here’s the song:000

Snap Crackle Pop Rice Krispees

Snap – What a happy sound,

Snap is the happiest sound I’ve found,

You can clap, rap, tap, flap,

But snap, makes the world go ‘round

Snap Crackle Pop Rice Krispees

I say it’s crackle, the crispy sound,

You’ve gotta have crackle or the clock’s not wound,

Geese cackle, feathers tickle, belts buckle, beets pickle,

But crackle, makes the world go ‘round.

Snap Crackle Pop Rice Krispees

I insist that pop’s the sound,

The bestest littlest sound I’ve found,

You can’t stop hoppin’ when the cereal’s poppin’

Pop – makes the world go ‘round.

Snap Crackle Pop Rice Krispees

I’ll bet that’ll sell a whole box car filled with cereal. How about it Kellogg’s. How about a little contribution to that mortgage.

　

Mike Broderick is an Employment Specialist for the Neil Squire Society in Burnaby where he finds employment for people with physical disabilities. Part of this work means affiliation with the Vancouver Board of Trade where he is a member of the Ambassador Club, the Burnaby Board of Trade where he is a member of the Labour Task Force, the Tri Cities Chamber of Commerce where he is an active member of the 10X10 initiative, and the Abbotsford Chamber of Commerce. He also does some work as a field Archaeologist. He is also a fitness instructor and frequent contributor of fitness humour articles to alive  

You can reach him at home at michael_broderick@telus.net or at michaelb@neilsquire.ca. re looking for a change, start with a resume makeover at competitive rates

When he is not doing all the above, he lives in Port Coquitlam with his partner Cecelia