THEY CALL ME LIGHTNIN’
The other day a co-worker asked me whether I’d ever been pulled over by the police. She wanted to know whether she did the right thing by handing over her license and waiting while she finished processing it.
I told her that I had, and I also told her she did the right thing. “Remember” I said. “They have guns.”
“When was the last time you were pulled over?” She asked.
“It was over the weekend. “ I said. It was just after midnight on Sunday night. I was coming back from Royal Columbian Hospital and I turned left off the Mary Hill Bypass onto Coast Meridian Road. As I drove past Industrial Avenue an RCMP squad car pulled onto Coast Meridian to join me. He was travelling at the speed limit – 50 kph.
So was I.
He sped up a little so he was abeam of me in the left lane.
I held my speed.
He passed me and pulled in front and held the speed limit.
So did I.
I always thought it was not a good idea to pass a cop in the flow of traffic. It would be an invitation for a speeding ticket. I say this happen once to a woman in New Westminster. She got a ticket.
I was determined not to get a ticket.
He went back into the left lane and we both stopped at the red light on Kingsway. We glanced at each other. I gave him a serious nod – the type pf nod workmen give each other at the punch clock.
He glared back.
We both proceeded over the Coast Meridian Bridge over the Port Coquitlam railway yard. We both drove at the speed limit. As we crossed the bridge, he slowed down and crossed into the right lane behind me. As we drove off the bridge, his red and blue flashing lights came on. I held my hand up and indicated where I was going to stop. It wasn’t going to be a bus stop even if it was after midnight.
I pulled out my license as I waiter for him to do his John Wayne walk up to my opened window.
“How come you’re driving so slow, partner? “ he asked.
“I wasn’t.” I said. “I was going the speed limit, just like you.”
“Most people would have passed me. How come you didn’t? Have you been drinking?”
“If I passed you, you would have given me a ticket, and no I haven’t been drinking.”
“I smell booze.”
“It must be hand sanitizer from the hospital –although it all should have evaporated by now. You have a real nose for detail, constable.”
He glared at me as he took my license back to his car. ”I’ll be right back.” He said.
When he returned he told me that he wasn’t going to write me a ticket. He wasn’t going to be the one to ruin a perfect driving record.
“Try to drive more carefully next time,” he said.
I told my co-worker that it was too bad I didn’t get a ticket. I would have enjoyed the prospect of telling the judge that they were trying to fine me for driving the speed limit.
Mike Broderick , a one- time archaeologist, is a Vocational Rehabilitation Counsellor with the Fraser Health Authority in Port Coquitlam where he helps people with mental health disabilities find and keep full or part time employment .
He WAS the Employment Specialist for the Neil Squire Society in Burnaby where he found employment for people with physical disabilities, A Supported Employment Coordinator at THEO BC (now the Open Door Group), and a case manager at Community Fisheries Development Centre where he helped people move from the fishing industry to something else because there, “Ain’t no fish.” This means he is VERY familiar with how a modern day resume should look.
He is a newly retired ambassador with the Vancouver Board of Trade and a former member of the Labour Task Force of the Burnaby Board of Trade He does some work as a field Archaeologist, is a fitness instructor and frequent contributor of fitness humour articles to Alive Magazine. He is always saying, “If you can’t be fit, you can at least be funny.”
He lives in Port Coquitlam with his spouse Cecelia. You can reach him at home at email@example.com or at 604-464-4105. If you’re looking for a career change, he is the Spin Doctor and can give you a resume makeover at competitive rates